week 12

A boy or a girl?

As soon as we accepted the fact that we are having a baby, the question popped up.
is it a boy or a girl?
Technically -as far as I know- you cannot know before the ned of the 4th month and even at that time or later you cannot be sure of teh gender until the you hold the baby and look between his/her legs, yet the mother started to ask the question, and insist on an answer even if the naswer is just based on your hunch.
My wife is persistent and she is somehow - not sure of the right term to use here- methodical. She got online and started reading everything related to that matter, a full research from medical resources to common knowledge.
The X part of the sperm is weak so the conception was done late then it's a higher chance of having a girl and so on.
and after the research she decided that we have higher chances of having a girl, and since we both wanted a girl then we gave the baby a name and started talking to her and about her.

beginning of the 6th month, we go to our ultrasound and the technician gives us the big news, it's a boy! tatatan tesh...she is not sure but it seems so.

that was hard on her, she wantd a girl and was dreaming about it, but I was indifferent, it was all the same to me a boy or a girl I'm fine.
Althiugh i can't deny that I would have loved to have a girl, I think girls are nicer and easier to deal with
I don't know why but I don't like boys in the age of 7 and up till they are done with the teen age years, unlike girls, they seem nice to me all the time.

I don't have doubts that i will love my baby once it's born but for now i don't feel much for it, and it makes no difference if it's a boy or a girl.

What to expect when you're expecting!

When a woman is expecting a baby, she should expect a lot of changes in her body like all the hormonal changes and what accompanies that and of course the famous morning sickness - which by the way doesn't have to be in the morning - and many other symptoms.

I was safe from all that, except for a few small issues. I am a man. Man's role in that period is less physical than the woman's.
But it's not less, men have the "supporting" role which is not as easy at it sounds. As a man you have to be kind, you have to always be there for her when she is vomiting holding her so she could feel you there.
As a man you have to -among other things too- help around the house, you have to clean and make breakfast and make sure that she takes her medication -if any.
you may not get appreciated for all the help you give, you may be accused of having it easy.
you may be looked at as the reason for the pain she is going through, you and your sperms did this.

You have to be patient, you have to be calm and give more support, you will be rewarded later, if not by her then by the fact that you will have a baby.
Rest assured that this woman is not acting out of herself when she is nervous or crying or shouting, it's hormones talking not her!

Man's greatest duty in the 'Expecting Period' is to deal with the mother-to-be 'Mood Swings'.
I had my share of that during the first 3~4 month.

My only advice to any man, is to be calm and always be supportive.

The Big News

--note: the dates are not accurate as i am recalling from memory now

day 0-2: she is in Egypt. I am in Finland.
she is suspecting...I am still calm, as I usually try to delay the reaction to the last possible minute
day 0-1: she goes for a blood test..the suspense is a killer
I'm still calm, trying to prepare myself for the news.
I was not refusing the idea nor accepting it.
day 0: she calls and gives me with the big news.
I start my vacation a week earlier and take the first plane I can get.
At night, in bed, my mind is blank, my feelings have not yet surfaced.
I do the practical thing, I research my options.
day 0+1: On my way i have mixed feelings about it.
I didn't want a child now. I don't want the hassle of children, I don't think I am ready now.
Not ready financially nor psychologically, or at least that is what I think.
I meet her, we talk about it (you can imagine how that talk went).
I am not sure what to say to her. Should I say I love it, should I say I don't want it. But what do I really want.
day 0+5: we start accepting the fact that we are having a baby. Still a bit agitated and I am still not sure of what I want.
The decision to go through with it, is pronounced.
Vacation in Egypt half ruined by the stress and anxiety (we were able to enjoy a part of it anyway)
days to follow: We visit a doctor to see what is the status of the new creature.
Every day that passes by I am still not sure of my feelings, not refusing yet not loving that fact.

During my 5 years of marriage so far, i haven't pictured us with a baby. I love her deeply, yet i don't do as Brayan Adams says in his song "when yo usee your unborn children in her eyes, you know you really love the woman" no not me.
As days go by, I am doing my best supporting her, accepting the baby more, yet no strong feelings towards it.
I can't deny that some times i wish it didn't happen, or that it won't continue.

Now I have accepted my fate and living the experience. I ma not that excited yet about but i think i am starting to love that baby.

we'll see ...

Introduction

This is the log of my days as a father.
I am still not yet a father but i am expecting, and this is when the journey begins.